omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
