It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Come on in and take your pants off
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