she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
