walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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