girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
