So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize