you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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