The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
