I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize