We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
