I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
