bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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