I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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