i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
