Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Farmville is her only friend.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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