guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
