He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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