So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think we might need a safe word for this...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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