Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
