woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
