Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
