i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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