The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I am puke
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
