I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
