Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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