Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
