I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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