Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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