So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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