so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
