Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
