In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I cut my penus on the lid.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The Olympian is in my bed
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