at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i was born a porn star she said
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
