I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i will never coherently bang her
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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