Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I deserve to be covered in dicks
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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