If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
