He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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