Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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