My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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