Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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