:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize