don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
