people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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