i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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