no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
