so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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