its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
