Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I need to sanitize my soul.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Someone signed my nipple.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
