Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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