a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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