Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
