Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
