can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
