Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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