For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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