I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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