I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
