Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
