no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
