Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
