If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize