I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
