i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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