right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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