I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize