you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
