im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
