The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
