Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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